"Young cuz I'm 32, flow like I'm 22, dress like I'm 18, do what i wanna do"- Jay-Z. I really don't think Young Hov' thought of niggas like me when he wrote this line. Honestly, I think mine would go more like this, "Young wit kids tho I'm 22, dress like I'm 32, flow like I'm 18, pampers and baby food" because even though I'm in love with idea of being a father, I much rather be a dad.
Wat is a father anyway? Other than a man who's sperm somehow finds itself empregnating an egg, and a baby being born because of it of course. What about the people like myself that never had a "father" and the closest thing to one had a "step" to it, lol. Is he not my father even though he didn't "get it on" with my mom to make me. The relationship, conversations, my right-of-passage. Fathers pay child support, Dads support the child and no monetary collateral is necessary.
Me, not meeting my son until after he was already eighteen months old automatically stamped "father" on my forehead and had me believing that I was doing enough by paying child support. I wasn't. While listening to Camron's "Stop It 5" I came to the realizations of my mistakes. It's as if Cam was talking to me like, "Oh, you a Dad nigga, STOP IT 5!!", lol. I had to look deep within myself to see that being with them isn't what they really need. They need the strength, comfort, discipline that only a real man can give. I don't mean to boast, because calling myself a Dad doesn't mean I am one.
To those that are out there, having babies and justifying yourself because you pay child support or give the mother money, STOP IT 5!!
Peace and love, Charlie.
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True post. For another perspective, listen to Jill Scott's "The Fact Is...". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtq0HhOISiE
ReplyDeleteI think some woman, because of hurt from their ex, hurt from their own absentee dad, will quickly shut a man out of his child's life. Yes, we can raise them, teach them to walk and stand, but we need men to teach our boys to men.
It is so much easier to become a dad than to really be one....
ReplyDeleteMy father attempted to be a father but never really succeeded. He had difficulty showing love and being emotional so I never really had it when I was young. My mother tried her best to provide enough love so that we would not feel different than the other young boys when we were in school. there was always something missing as I grew up.
i realize that this was the reason i gained so much weight and was all the way up to 525 lbs. my self esteem was so low and i didnt feel i was loved by anyone. not until i found God. I didnt have many friends during my high school years and was able to use my weight as an excuse.
As CharlieVega and C.Cedeno introduced me back to God, I realized what I was missing in my life. There is no better father than the Almighty. Since I have never had any children of my own, I especially find helping young adults very rewarding. I will continue to help young adults for the rest of my life, to understand that their father's issues are not theirs. They have the chance to right the ship and go forward at full speed.